It is a truth universally acknowledged that a political body animated by too large an ideological dream and too high an opinion of its own worth, is perpetually in search of other people’s money. The EU, case in point, has decided on yet another rush forward, in order to get more money. Because if you plan your budget around your ambitions, instead of the other way around, you never have enough money.

The United Kingdom is leaving, taking its money out of the EU budget. In response, the EU will dream up ‘Marshall plans‘ to save the whole African continent, instead of planning to spend less money. It will seek funds outside of member states’ control, instead of taking the hint.

There is consistency in this madness. The EU will dream up ways in which it can be more important, claim this is ‘what member states want’ and then hold up its hand to be paid. As Politico puts it:

Among the questions facing the EU: How to deal with the €12 billion to €13 billion shortfall that will be left by Britain’s departure; whether to cut and reform the Common Agricultural Policy, which accounts for some 38 percent of spending; whether to revamp the approach to regional funding, which makes up about a third of the budget; and how much to spend on new priorities such as border control, security and defense.

Dutch Newspaper De Telegraaf reports that the annual€13 billion shortfall is going to be compensated by raising the seven-year budget plan from€1000 billion to€1300 billion, amounting to a raise of€300 billion, from 1% of the EU’s GDP to 1.14%. Seven years without the Red Coats amounts to a budget shortfall of €91 billion. So one wonders how they’ll spend the surplus €209 billion this new seven-year budget plan entails. According to EU sources, €30 billion will be spent on “guarding the EU’s outer borders“. How the remaining €121 billion will be spent, is not yet clear.

In an interview with Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf EU Commissioner Günther Oettinger explains the EU’s particular way of thinking:

When the British leave the EU budget must shrink. But not by the full 100% of their contribution. Mark Rutte [the Dutch prime minister] is on the brakes: he doesn’t want the other countries to take on the full amount that the British are paying. But we in Brussels want fifty-fifty: six to seven billion in cuts and just as much new money added.

If you take Oettinger to dinner, and he proposes to go fifty-fifty, not only has he had more to eat and drink than you, he wants you to pay for the alcohol he’s going to take from the minibar in his hotel room later and wouldn’t mind if you chipped in for that lady he’ll be ordering either.

Most worrying, however, is that Brussels is now so desperate, that it is looking into ways to use the budget to start cheating. It is no secret that the unelected European Commission and the barely democratic European Parliament have clashed with two certain member states and now the EU seeks new ways to impose its will on those countries:

The European Commission will on Wednesday propose to cut off EU funds to member countries that do not respect the rule of law — without needing the approval of governments most likely to be targeted by the measure, according to officials familiar with the plans. The proposal is intended to put pressure on Poland and Hungary, which have clashed with Brussels over their alleged democratic backsliding, and send a signal to other countries who might follow their path. It risks exacerbating tensions between east and west, and is likely to be resisted by governments that are reluctant to give Brussels unprecedented new powers to financially sanction members.

Because if you can’t get your way through the proper channels, you seek new ways. And damned be irony! The EU will play the orator as well as Nestor, deceive more slily than Ulysses could…