Frans, true friends tell each other the truth, so here goes. Just stick to orating crowds halfway into a coma with talks of the absolute necessity to impose a political union and single currency on the incompatible fiscal cultures of Southern and Northern Europe. That’s what you do best and it’s what landed you the second highest unelected office in the EU. But just because your office-hot secretary complimented you on your new look last week, don’t suddenly think you’re a rhetorical street fighter like the man you’re attacking, because that’s how self-propelled train wrecks like this happen.

Truth be told though, your new look isn’t all that bad, so we understand the feeling.