32 posts
Sweet. Jonathan Pie tears Count Dankula’s sentencing a new one
Jonhy P. delivering once again. Especially if you haven’t heard enough “fucks” and “cunts” yet this week, do yourself a favour. Of course, it’s about Count Dankula’s sentencing for the video below, in which he taught his girl’s pug to do Nazi salutes while saying “gas the Jews”. The judge deemed “context to be irrelevant” and found him guilty of “inciting racial hatred”.
Lol. Did the new Slovak Prime Minister just drop his ‘magic powder’ in front of a dozen cameras?
Well, we don’t know man, we just work here. But if the speculations are even trending on 9Gag, you better get your PR in order. Some are rushing to his defence, inserting that it’s an innocent toothpick (below), while others are counterclaiming that it looks like a toothpick because the bag is now folded between his fingers. Anyhow, the freshly appointed Slovak Prime Minister Peter “The Snowman” Pellegrini has some explaining to do.
Romanian court insists man is dead, rejects his claim to be alive, ruling is final
“A Romanian court has rejected a man’s claim that he is alive, after he was officially registered as dead.
A court spokeswoman said on Friday that 63-year-old Constantin Reliu lost his case in the north-east city of Vasului because he appealed too late. The ruling is final.”
UK Labour member proposes alcohol ban at Party meetings for inclusiveness to “Muslims, pregnant women, drivers, people under 18, recovering alcoholics, those who can’t afford a pint”
“As the party attempts to move forward following #LabourToo, it should go beyond a strictly procedural approach, with complaints and regulations there to monitor members behaviour. It needs to engage in cultural reform, and banning alcohol from meetings is a significant part of ensuring that the party is welcoming to all and would mitigate the risks that consumption of alcohol poses to others.”
Thanks to this Swiss government sex ad we now know fellatio is basically sucking dry an aquarium through a water hose
Even though we’ll try anything once, we’re not as of yet in the position to refute the claim that fellatio is like sucking water from an aquarium through a hose, so we’ll just have to take their word for it.
UK’s Young Labour excludes white heterosexual men from public event
“As a party, Labour prides itself on equality, extending opportunity to those who wouldn’t otherwise have it; promoting progressive politics; being the voice of the ostracised. Identity politics is our politics. (…) How can we as a political party purport to serve the interests of Londoners but fail to do this in our own house? Especially in a youth organisation which aims to represent the most diverse city in our country.”
Cringy stuff. EP’s chief Brexit negotiator Verhofstadt’s rant in an empty European Parliament
It’s always funny to hear him use his home country of Belgium as an example in his emotional pleads for a federal Europe. Because Belgium is not actually a country and it’s nearly impossible to run it at all. Just watch the video below, and ask yourself if you want Europe, which, like Belgium, is a multilingual landmass with various differing fiscal cultures, to be more or less like Verhofstadt’s federation.
Noel Gallagher on Brexit: “The people voted. That’s democracy. F**king get over it”
The people’s champs mincing as many words and giving as many fucks as ever. Be it on Islamic terrorism or Brexit, this boi has your back.
His brother, by the way, is quite opinionated on the matter of tea, and his treatise on the subject is being compared by many contemporary scholars to Plato’s Apology. Ignore at your own peril.
Lol. Someone fixed the lyrics so the DNC’s Edgiest and Best rapper alive finally sounds convincing
There, fixed.
Jonathan Pie: “Jean-Claude Juncker is a pr*ck and an arrogant tw*t. And so is Donald Tusk”
Jonathan Pie, John Walker’s immensely popular fictitious British news reporter, just ripped into the Brexit ordeal, and EU-chiefs Juncker and Tusk got their share especially. Theresa May didn’t exactly escape unscathed either, and rightly so.