Jonhy P. delivering once again. Especially if you haven’t heard enough “fucks” and “cunts” yet this week, do yourself a favour. Of course, it’s about Count Dankula’s sentencing for the video below, in which he taught his girl’s pug to do Nazi salutes while saying “gas the Jews”. The judge deemed “context to be irrelevant” and found him guilty of “inciting racial hatred”.

Well, we don’t know man, we just work here. But if the speculations are even trending on 9Gag, you better get your PR in order. Some are rushing to his defence, inserting that it’s an innocent toothpick (below), while others are counterclaiming that it looks like a toothpick because the bag is now folded between his fingers. Anyhow, the freshly appointed Slovak Prime Minister Peter “The Snowman” Pellegrini has some explaining to do.

“A Romanian court has rejected a man’s claim that he is alive, after he was officially registered as dead.

A court spokeswoman said on Friday that 63-year-old Constantin Reliu lost his case in the north-east city of Vasului because he appealed too late. The ruling is final.”

Even though we’ll try anything once, we’re not as of yet in the position to refute the claim that fellatio is like sucking water from an aquarium through a hose, so we’ll just have to take their word for it.

There, fixed.